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The Human Factor

By David Smith
President, The Employers’ Association
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People face “forks in the road” throughout their lives. Whether our crossroads are caused by our own actions or present themselves through actions taken by others, many stressful situations are caused by circumstances within our daily lives that were apparently unavoidable and seemingly irresolvable.

Positive experiences make life easier, more enjoyable and relieve the sense of foreboding that often accompanies the fear of failure, but do little to prepare an individual for the rough times that will inevitably come. Most negative situations in life ultimately establish one’s ability to achieve heights previously considered beyond their reach and strengthen our resolve.

While we are all human (and therefore capable of making mistakes all by ourselves), the reality is that others (our friends, family and employers) are major contributors to our long-term happiness (or sadness). The way we react to others often determines how easy or difficult hard the path we are paving becomes to follow. Examples of how to (or not to) establish a relationship I’ve heard often during my years with The Employers’ Association would include the following. After each example is a more appropriate (or at least “people-friendly”) approach to the same issue.

• I know what I want and expect others to do things the way I want them done. They are all competent professionals so I shouldn’t have to tell them how to do things or what to do all the time.
  
  Knowing what you want is half the battle. Expressing what you want without stifling creativity by spelling out exactly what you want and how you want something done is the other half. Employees (nor anyone with whom you interact) shouldn’t always be told how to do things but they must be told what is expected if they are to contribute to the organization or achieve any fulfillment from their individual efforts.
• People are paid to perform a job. Receiving a paycheck should be reward enough for a job well done. When someone does something wrong they’ll know it — and if they don’t figure it out themselves, I’ll let them know as soon as I can!
  
  People are paid to do their job. They must also, however, receive appropriate praise and effective correction — targeted towards improved performance — in order to continue doing the jobs they are paid to do well. Likewise, our friends do things with us because they choose to do so. As soon as you begin to take their friendship for granted, expecting them to be there “just because” without any conversation, encouragement or mutually beneficial growth taking place, you’re liable to find them slipping away.
• I worry enough on my own about the business and how competition threatens this company. I don’t really want to trouble my employees by telling them things they can’t control.
  
  Worrying about business is a good thing. Hiding reality from your employees is not. Employees usually know about troubles long before management talks about them. We should always keep an open and honest flow of communication going (two-way sharing vs. one-way edict) between both our employees and our friends. When we allow others to become involved in choosing the solution, we always find that the path becomes easier to travel.
• People need to deal with their personal issues outside of the workplace. Everybody has problems and troubles, but that can’t interfere with what needs to be done.
  
  People like to receive validation when they are troubled, encouragement when they are down, and support when life seems to beat them up. Troubles are not checked at the door like a coat on a rack, they burden anyone carrying them. We must establish and maintain expectations but should also work with an individual’s ability to perform, seeking help if necessary to maximize their success.

If you tend to respond to people more like the initial observations, you probably take a rather autocratic position within your relationships — probably causing more than your share of moral and ethical dilemmas. You probably either force people to accept your influence (leaving their minds and good intentions at the door) or see them physically walk out the door due to the sheer frustration of dealing with your closed mind and self-serving intentions.

If you recognized both good and bad in each question — choosing the italicized set of responses — you probably have the potential of being an effective leader. Working with people is an art. In order to identify and provide others with “safe passage,” a leader must first realize that there are very few absolutes in the world — that each question should be viewed as being both partially true and partially false — so that the best possible solution can be implemented. Good leaders (whether at work or in a personal relationship) walk a fine line between imposing their will to assure an expedient solution and allowing one to occasionally take the wrong path to grow from the experience. Allowing (and encouraging) one to learn from failure is often the best tonic we can apply to any relationship!

Perhaps seeing most resolutions as being a “definite maybe” is the best way to build a relationship. As we pave a path towards a common goal, a leader will invariably lead others along the way. We should not spend too much time glancing back, as it will disorient us from making forward progress. We must continually reach out towards the unknown, while holding back just enough to maintain a solid foundation upon which we build our path.

Life does not stand still. We must constantly run ahead (even as we encourage others to follow). Helping another to find their way is a good thing. Carrying them as we go does nothing to help them stand tall as they face the crossroads in life!

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